Miracle Baby

"You are the poem I dreamed of writing, the masterpiece I longed to paint. You are the shining star I reached for in my ever hopeful quest for life fulfilled... You are my child. Now with all things I am blessed." -- Author unknown

Hi, it's Sheila. Every baby is a miracle. Today my second baby turns four years old.

When Ric and I got married, I became a step-mother to two wonderful girls, and when our daughter Katie was born we thought our family was complete. Three beautiful girls with K names, Kasey, Kari, and Kathleen, one red-head, one blonde, one brunette, all as different from each other as strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate.

Then one Valentine's Day a few years back, Ric and I were having a lovely dinner at Nicola's, when he hit me with a bombshell by asking if I wanted to have another baby. I had always wanted another child, but at the same time we felt three children were more than enough blessings. His Valentine's proposal started us on a journey I never could have predicted.

We were overjoyed when I first learned I was expecting, but the joy turned quickly to sadness when I had a miscarriage. We believed there was a reason for it, and few people knew about the pregnancy, so we started over. I lost my second baby in my second trimester. It was devastating. This time we had told friends and family, and making it so many weeks into the pregnancy had given us confidence that this baby was truly coming into our lives. I had a lot of support from friends, several women I knew from church and Katie's school sent cards saying they, too, had experienced miscarriages. One of them wrote: "I felt as if I should apologize to every other woman I knew who'd miscarried, because I never truly understood what it's like." I felt exactly that way. It left a big hole in my heart, but we decided maybe one more baby was not in the cards for us.

So imagine our surprise when we found out we had another baby on the way. It was so surprising that I was walking around feeling dizzy and sick for a couple of weeks before the light bulb went off and we bought a pregnancy test. As the news settled in, so did fear. I found it difficult to believe this baby would be okay, and I was scared to even be happy about it. But God knew differently, and four years ago, on May 11, 2007, Eric came into our world. Yes, every baby is miracle, but Eric was like an angel sent to me from Heaven. He has filled the hole in my heart.

Eric fill every day with laughter. Last week, they were giving away free cookies at our bank. Eric was eating his cookie in the back seat of the car and I asked him, "How's that cookie, Eric? It has a lot of icing." He said, "It's like a fresh blanket of snow."
As I tucked him into bed the night before Easter, Eric asked me, "Is the Easter Bunny dressed up like a man?" (I think he meant to ask if the Easter Bunny is a man dressed up like a bunny.)
When he performed songs from Sunday School with his classmates this spring, he (quite loudly) asked between each song, "Is it over?"

And recently he told me, "I'm all out of kisses. That was the last one."
Finally, one of my favorites: One day Eric and Ric were playing outside, and Eric said, "Daddy, know why I love you so much?" Ric said, "Why, Eric?" Eric replied, "Because you're my old guy!"

Every baby is a miracle. For me, every day, every sleepless night, every hug, every tear, every smile, every part of this journey of motherhood is a miracle.

And if you've experienced miscarriage or the loss of a newborn, you might find this support website to be helpful. It was a tremendous comfort to me. http://www.nationalshare.org/

I also found some encouragement in the book, Pregnancy After A Loss. http://www.pregnancyafteraloss.com/